You just finished your state pageant and your beloved contestant didn’t win/place/show? It had to be because:
- She didn’t do any Optional Contests
- She didn’t sell any ads
- She didn’t write any thank you notes
- The judges only wanted blondes this year
- Whatever else malarkey you are telling yourself
It couldn’t possibly be because… wait for it…
Her scores didn’t place her in the Top 5?
I know this is a bitter pill to swallow. I have been exactly where you are standing. I’ve had those conversations with myself. And our first year? My husband SWORE it was because we didn’t do Optional Contests, etc. Now that we’ve been with NAM for a hot minute, he sees that his initial assessment was dead wrong.
How can I be so sure? Well, for one thing, I’ve been stalking the NAM results pages for years. That link is to a cached page where you can see almost every result for every state and national pageant from 2003 to 2015. What you will find is that more often than not, Optional Contest winners don’t win the overall State Queen title.
Tough love time…
Before you start blaming your results on everything except what you can control, wait for your scores to arrive. Once they arrive, email the national office for judges’ comments. This will be the definitive moment for you to understand exactly what needs improvement. And believe me, even if you won your state queen title, you will need to tweak things before heading to nationals. Show me someone who says “I don’t need to change a thing before nationals”, and I’ll show you someone who isn’t going to place at nationals.
No T, no shade, no pink lemonade
True story: twenty years ago, I was coaching with a well-known ballroom dancer and whenever he had a correction he would apologize for the correction. I looked at him and said, “I’m here because I want to get better. Not be told how good I am. I want to know what I’m doing wrong. It’s the only way to improve.”
This blog exists because I have the heartfelt desire to have every girl have her best chance to succeed. I’m not Mary Poppins and I don’t necessarily have a spoonful of sugar. I will always give you the unvarnished truth. I wish someone had taken me aside and said “You in trouble, girl” when we first started competing. It may be hard to hear the unvarnished truth, but I believe that there needs to be way more honesty in the world and a whole lot less “Whatever she likes is just fine!” Anyone who tells you that? They are blowing smoke where the sun don’t shine and I wouldn’t be able to trust them. I trust people who are honest and don’t sugar coat the truth.
I will close with this: I want the best for you and your contestant. I believe in you. You can do this. Wait for your scores and judges comments to arrive before stressing out about how your pageant went.